Remembering

We lost a friend this summer.

Way too soon.

I started to write about it and then felt that I should ask my friend Brandi for permission to post this first.

Last week, Matthew asked to watch some home movies from his infancy.  It was so fun to jump back into our life at that stage.  But there was bitter sweetness too....I found myself with an ache in my chest when the DVD was over.  There was my Dad, loving on his grand babies.  And there was Aaron at our house for dinner with his family and my brother's family.  With a little Isaiah and Garrett toddling willy nilly around the house as we laughed at them and a small Matthew being cradled in arms.

Such carefree moments.

I just got a new planner and in the front of it, it has the quote,
"Don't cry because it's over.  Smile because it happened."

And while I aspire to that, sometimes it's easier said than done.

Because sometimes,  it just isn't enough.

Dan met Brandi at the University of Idaho where they both were majoring in Accounting.  I met Brandi when I was on campus one day with Dan and I remember Dan needed to go somewhere so she invited me out to lunch with a friend of hers.  We went to the mall (with Maria) and had chicken strips and french friends.  (Do you remember that, Brandi?) Brandi is funny, and down to earth and I immediately liked her.

She and Aaron (high school sweethearts) were already married at the time.  I remember going to their apartment (with the rooster lamp) and being mesmerized by a married apartment.  It was decorated so cute and Brandi made us her homemade chicken noodle soup.  That impressed me too.  (Still one of my favorite things she makes.  I miss your soup, friend).  Aaron was a Chemical Engineering major like my sister in law.  They ended up working together (along with my brother) once they all graduated.

A photo of where our friendship began....



This was the college of Business graduation.
(Look!  Dan had hair!! :) )

Brandi was a bridesmaid in our wedding, she came wedding dress shopping with us, and participated in all the festivities.  Of course, Aaron was there too and I can still picture him sitting in the pews waiting patiently during all of the hoopla.  We piled all of our wedding gifts in the back of Aaron and Brandi's Forerunner the day after our wedding and followed them back to Portland.

After we were married, Brandi and Aaron lived in vancouver along with my brother and sister in law, and Dan and I lived south in Beaverton.  But we still got together for dinners....



"Survivor" nights, and the like.   Brandi and Aaron's family lived far away (Idaho) so they joined our families for holidays...Thanksgiving, 4th of July, and a beach trip as well.  Their personalities just fit right in with our family and were a welcome and natural addition.  There were babies and new houses and we started our lives together here.

Sweet memories.

It was a shock when Aaron was diagnosed with Colon Cancer 4 1/2 years ago and we were sorry to see them move away (perhaps) a year later.  But we watched them fight bravely.  With humor.  And a lot of courage. 

Aaron and Brandi made the trip for my Dad's memorial service, and I was so touched by that.  Aaron respected my Dad, and I know it was reciprocated.

Aaron's sister did a remarkable job remembering him at the memorial service.  She gave a beautiful summary of Aaron's life.  It's a daunting task to adequately honor a life so well lived.  I know I can't do Aaron justice, but the things I liked, respected, and loved about Aaron are:

His sense of humor.
Aaron was bright.  And his humor was witty.
His sense of devotion to his family.
His tirelessness as a father.
His gentle ways.
His sincerity.
His humility.

Aaron was quite simply, an honorable person.

When I think of Aaron, I picture him playing with his kids, helping Brandi in the kitchen when entertaining (which they were so good at), laughing, telling stories, and smiling politely as he'd listen to you talk.  He really was someone who just saw what needed to be done and quietly did it without drawing attention to himself. 

We traveled to Idaho Falls with Mike and Michelle to see Brandi and remember our friend.

Dan actually lived in Idaho falls when he was 3, so we found his old house before the service.





We stopped off to see the "Idaho Falls"...





Dan still had his "manstache" then.  (His smile now shines unobstructed).
But the topic came up the night before.
Will it be shaved for the ceremony?
Dan said "No."
Because after all, "Aaron would dig the 'manstache'".
And I could hear Aaron laughing in my head.
It was agreed.
The manstache stayed.

Dan and Mike had the honor of being pall bearers.
I can think of few greater honors.

It was so good to see our friend, Brandi.
To give her the hugs I'd been wanting to give her for so long.
But so hard to leave her....
While we wish we made this trip for a different reason, and our hearts are broken for this loss, we were grateful to be a part of the day.
To celebrate this wonderful, honorable man.
A life, truly well lived.