Sue's Memorial

Before Sue's Memorial Kristi called and asked if we'd like to meet them at Sue's house.  We had never been to her Arizona home and Kristi said, "I think you'll get a real feel of my mom here."

The morning of the memorial we made our way to her home and the moment we walked in the door it was Sue.

Floral, Feminine, tidy and comfortable...with lots of crystal, brass, and everything matched.  I took a lot of pictures for Lisa and Kristi.  Here are a few....

The family room:







Framed photos of people she loved in her linen closet.

And this was classic.



Yes, crystal on the stove.

So funny.  Sue did not cook.

There was not room for her china hutch in the nook, so she put it in the laundry room.  I remember her telling me how she liked to turn the lights on in it in the evening, and she'd go in there to talk on the phone.

 

This framed picture is her favorite spot to take photos in Disneyland.  I posed there twice with her family growing up.  Whenever I have been there and passed by I think of Sue.



There was even a cute little area in her spotless garage.



(They lived on a golf course).

It was so sweet go to and see her home.  I was so glad to walk through the rooms and see Sue's familiar touch throughout.  It was strange though, to be there without her offering a Diet Coke and laughing, laughing, laughing.



We headed to the church where Jamie and I were able to help with setting up for the reception.  And then went in for the service.

There were different speakers from different parts of Sue's life.  Her brother, two friends from Arizona,  her son-in-law, and then I stood and spoke with Lisa and Kristi.  The pastor said it was the longest memorial service she had ever done.  It was long, but I told Kristi her mom was worth every minute!  We could have talked for a week!


My talk went okay.  Like everyone else who stood and spoke I was a little emotional in the beginning and then made it through.  I was grateful and glad for the opportunity to speak.  Kristi had emailed and asked if I would prior to heading down.  But as I sat and tried to think of what I wanted to say, words continued to fail me.  It is such an honor to speak at a memorial service.  To personally share about and summarize a cherished life....to memorialize someone...who they were, how they lived, their mark on the world and those around them.  I think when you care for someone deeply, words simply are inadequate.  I adored Sue, and nothing I could say would serve her memory enough for my liking.  So I did the best that I could (and am including my words at the end of this post) but I don't think I could have written anything that I would have felt content with.



Lisa and Kristi spoke after me.





Kristi's husband Ryan is a young adult pastor at First Presbyterian in Bellevue. He gave the homily and did a beautiful job.

 

We then went to the fellowship hall for a reception. It was just as Sue would have wanted it. No expensive centerpieces or meal, just framed photos and artificial flowers. A light snack and a slide show of photos played. People mingled and visited and I buzzed around snapping photos for an album for Kristi and Lisa. Here are a few of the photos....



Mom &  Jamie. Joined later by Kristi as things were winding down.

 

The grand kids.
 Lisa's husband is a wonderful guy named Mel who is Phillipino. They have beautiful children!



Everyone wanted to hold precious Anna, aka. "The Glory Girl" as nicknamed by her Daddy. Her middle name is Glory.

 

Anna and her Daddy in the background.



Love this one. Sue's hat and her phrase that she was so well known for with granddaughter, Meghan.



Treasured friends.

 

 Sweet Meghan (whom Kaitlin adores and has so much fun playing with) in the parking lot after the reception.


A last funny one of the 3 of us... And the family photo.... And my words about Sue.

A friend asked that I share them....

I told my Mom as I was writing what I wanted to share with you today, that while it is such an honor to stand before you & remember Sue, a person I dearly loved, I feel like anything that I could write would always fall short. Words will always fail to capture the essence of Sue. There was so much personality, spirit, and loving kindness packed into that little body. But I will try to do her justice.

Growing up, I attended Jason Lee Elementary School in Richland, Washington along with Sue’s daughters Lisa & Kristi who were in the grades above and below me. The exciting thing that happened in 5th grade at Jason Lee was getting to attend “Outdoor Education” at Camp Wooten. It was a week away from home with fellow students staying in cabins, and learning about the outdoors. When I was in 6th grade I was lucky to be chosen as a TA to go back to Camp Wooten as an assistant. Little did I know how that would change my life. I was assigned to the Owl cabin. Which was Sue’s cabin where she was a camp counselor for her daughter, Kristi & fellow classmates. It was the beginning of a dear friendship, many laughs, lessons and fun adventures. Kristi and I became fast friends and Sue’s home became like my second home growing up. I went to church with her family, went waterskiing with them, spent afternoons at her house after school, went on shopping trips, and to Disneyland twice with her family. Our families shared holidays together and were really like the extended family that neither of us had locally. I quickly became what she referred to as her “#3 daughter.” And she introduced me to people like that, never stopping to explain that we weren’t really related. Perhaps because it felt like we were. The last card she sent to me just this last may for Mother’s Day, still included that sweet title that I will always cherish. But what that really meant was that I had a front row seat to a life that was beautifully lived.

Sue got up every day and put together a beautiful outfit always in colors that complemented her hair and complexion, with jewelry that was bold. Her hair, always perfectly done. Her nails, long and bright. And her lipstick was usually within arms reach so that it seemed it never faded from her lips. But once she was tended to in the morning, her focus turned completely outward to others. Sue had a heart for service, kindness, compassion, affirmation, and was filled with love for others. Sue was truly “blessed to bless others”. Her gifts and blessings from God did not stop with her. They were not stored up for safekeeping or given to a select few that she was closest to. They were given freely. Daily. From those closest to her, to the clerk at the grocery store. She would blow kisses and call out her signature, “I love you more!” The way that only Sue really could. Not “Luv ya!” or “love you”…or any other version that we might feel more comfortable saying because it removes a little bit of the intimacy and vulnerability from the expression. Because expressing your love is a vulnerable place to be. The questions remain…how will it be received? Will it be reciprocated? But that didn’t concern Sue. No, She loved courageously. It was always a bold “I love You More!!!” And I’m certain that for many of us who knew Sue, those were her last words to us.

 But Sue’s words weren’t hollow. Her actions spoke of a heart that truly did deeply love others. She always had an eye out for a need that she could fill. Whether it was a family member, a friend, an acquaintance, or simply someone she ran across in her day to day life. She would step up and help. Whether it was filling a material need or an emotional need. She was there with clothes, house wares, furniture, a ride to an appointment, a phone call, a card with caring &  encouraging words, a hug, or simply a smile. She adopted people that she looked after continually. I remember an immigrant family in Richland she referred to as “My Russian Family”. I have no idea how she initially met them but she often told us stories about them and I went to their house with Sue one time for one of her many deliveries. I watched the children gather at her arrival and I could see that they saw Sue as an angel. But she didn’t just give them things. She showed them love.

I remember when a friend of hers had twins, she went to her house every Tuesday afternoon to help to “hold the babies” as she used to say, so that the mom could run errands and have a break. Just to make life easier for her. And then there was our Beloved “Grandma Helen” whose own daughter and husband had passed away and no local family remained. Sue became like a daughter to her. Looking after her until the very moment Grandma Helen passed from this earth. Among many other things, Sue took her to appointments ~ doctor appointments and also the really important ones, like hair &  nails. When Grandma Helen could no longer do many of the day to day life tasks, Sue stopped by her house daily to help her and make sure she was safely tucked in bed for the night so that Grandma Helen could remain in her home as she wished. These are just three of countless, truly countless, things that Sue would do on a daily basis.

She certainly didn’t have more time in the day than any of us. She simply loved and selflessly prioritized serving others. She didn’t have a lot of hobbies (except perhaps shopping & socializing with friends) that she indulged in. Her hobby was helping and serving. Sue was never inconvenienced by a need. Nor did she wait to be asked to help or serve begrudgingly out of obligation. Nor was there a self-serving motivation. She served selflessly, generously and graciously. And while Sue was kind and sweet, serving, and loving, probably one of my favorite things about her was that she was funny.

 She loved to laugh~ that great, unique laugh of hers ~ and had a fun sense of humor. I loved how we’d be sitting at a meal and she’d say something shocking and as my mouth would drop open she would just laugh with a twinkle in her eye. Or she’d tell a story of something bold or funny that she did and I’d say, “You did that?” And she’d smile and nod her head, the way she used to nod and say, “I really did.” Because if you knew Sue well, you know she did a LOT of funny things. …

 Like wallpapering her garage in Richland in floral wallpaper. And keeping a Christmas tree in her family room up year round that was decorated to match her interior. And I remember she went through a phase where she listened to marching band music in the car. She said she liked it because it sounded happy. Sue was really a one-of-a-kind. She had so much confidence and personality. She might have been small in size but she could fill a room with her presence. She knew who she was and was true to herself.

Sue was one of the most influential people in my life. Truly one of the rare people you come across in life that almost seem to be part angel. And I will miss her dearly.

I would just like to encourage everyone here today that perhaps we could pick up where Sue left off. Perhaps we could honor her memory by loving a little more courageously.
And serving a little more generously.
And if we all do a little, we might hope to achieve what Sue did all on her own.

Sue

Very shortly after school got out, Kristi called to tell me that her mom was in the hospital.  She was admitted with low blood count, anemia and also pneumonia.  Sue had a rough day of tests and Kristi said she knew she'd love to hear from me and gave me her number.  When I called the hospital room, the phone just rang and rang...shortly thereafter I got a text saying that Sue had been transferred to another hospital.  

I missed my chance to talk to her.

It was many days of daily texts and phone calls between me, Lisa, and Kristi.  Things changed day to day.  She would seem to improve a bit only to worsen again or stay the same.  She was in the ICU on a ventilator for nearly two weeks before the pneumonia finally cleared but her dependence on the ventilator increased.

Kristi called one afternoon and I took the phone into the dining room.  She told me that they were probably going to have to let her go to heaven in the morning.

None of us saw this coming.  When I saw Sue last (in February when the above photo was taken) I remarked to my mom that she didn't seem in great health, but it wasn't anything specific.  I never (ever) would have thought that would be our last visit.

I hung up the phone and sat in the dining room and cried.

Matthew later told me that it was the first time he really saw me cry.  He came into the dining room and hugged me.

When Sue was admitted to the hospital a friend wanted to come and see her, but Sue didn't feel well enough.  She told her, "If I don't see you, I'll see you in heaven."  Which is such a Sue thing to say.   But the faith and the peace behind that statement when she was clearly, critically ill, amazes me.

She passed away on June 25.   Coincidentally, the same day that her Mom was killed by a drunk driver on her way home from church, many years earlier.  

I loved Sue dearly.  She was like a second mom to me growing up, and one of my favorite people in the world.   When she passed away, there was still a card on my desk that she had sent in May for Mother's Day telling me how much she loved me and many other sweet affirmations that was Sue's way....always building other people up.  She did that for me as I was growing up as well. 

 

I sat down the night that she passed away and wrote a message to her daughters, Lisa & Kristi.  I sat in the living room for over an hour both smiling at the sweet memories and with tears endlessly streaming down my cheeks because there would be no more....as I remembered precious moments and wrote them down.  It was healing to sit and visit those places in my mind of a time I haven't thought of for so long.  I'm including a portion of my message below for my own memories as well.....

"I have found myself just remembering so many things about your mom over the last week.  Andrew caught me standing still in the middle of the stairs with a load of laundry in my arms just lost in a memory of your Mom and he said, "Mama, what are you thinking about?"  He cried and cried tonight at dinner when we told him your mom passed away.  Kaitlin cried too, though I think it was because Andrew was crying.  :)  I sat and told them how your Mom took me to Disneyland twice!  And how I had never been before then.  I told them how much your Mom loved Disneyland and they loved hearing about that. 

It made me think about how your mom included me in everything.  From haircuts to church, to vacations.  She treated me like family and I felt loved like I was one of her own.  I remember going to church and then Dairy Queen for a "full meal deal."  She would take bites of everyone's lunch and say, "Mmm, that is so good!"  She would ask how much homework everyone had and then we would go to the mall and shop and have a diet coke/Mrs. Field's cookie.  I remember being baptized at the age of 14 because your mom included me in the confirmation classes at CUP.   I doubt I otherwise would have gone to church. 

Whenever I am overwhelmed with a mess, I still think of your mom saying, "Start in a corner and work in a circle."  And I do!  I remember if we made a mess in the house when we were growing up, Kristi would say, "Mom is going to have a cow!" And then we'd quickly clean up before she came home!  I remember walking in the door and your mom would say, "Let me munch on you!"  And I'd stand and let her kiss and kiss my cheek.  She always took a genuine interest in others.  Always helped when she saw a need.  I learned about giving and serving by watching your mom.  The errand list was always seemed to include helping others.  She was never inconvenienced by a need.  She served graciously, loved courageously.  That is how I remember your mom.  Some people are held back in their service either by fear of offending someone, or just lacking the confidence...not your mom.  She would go anywhere to help anyone.

I remember the scads of hair spray cans in the cupboard and the cloud that would hang in the bathroom as your mom would spray her hair as we'd make sure her backcombing didn't show in the back.  I felt privileged to be among the few to see your mom in her robe without any make up on!

I remember summer time at Jason Lee Pool, Soap Opera Digest and your mom would weed the pool area so it would look nice.   I remember one time Kristi and I pretended to be Seals in the pool while your Mom fed us Nutter Butters.  :)  Why do I remember these things?!

Your mom fostered an environment of helpfulness in your family.  Whenever someone had something stressful going on, your Mom would say, "Let's help ___, by doing ___." 

I loved sitting and playing cards with your mom and listening to her laugh.  She loved to laugh!!  She had such a great sense of humor & would say startling things sometimes that were so funny!  When I think back to how annoying Kristi and I had to have been at times and yet your mom would laugh at/with us.  :) 

I remember her finding clothing she'd like for you guys and so she'd buy the same thing in multiple sizes.  And colors. 

She loved a list and crossing things off. 

And she loved a good bargain.  And telling us how much she saved.  :)   

I remember cleaning the fountain in the front yard one day and your mom brought out big ice waters for us while we worked.  Your mom was always thoughtful like that.

I loved how your mom told stories with all the details.

I remember how we weren't allowed to walk in the living room and ruin the vacuum marks.  :)   And how it was a VERY special occasion when we got to sit in the living room.  I just reminded Dan of this and he confessed to moving some of the pillows around in that room one day.  Troublemaker.

I remember the first time your mom came to visit after Kaitlin was born and the abscess, etc.  She & John came for dinner and she hugged me and hugged me and told me how glad she was that I was okay....I remember her calling regularly and being a support to both me and my mom after Dad passed away.  Your mom was someone who wasn't scared off by emotion or tough times.  She was happy to step in and be a caring, encouraging presence.

I am certain that for most people who knew your mom, her last words to them were "I love you more!"  What a beautiful way to leave...to have your parting words be ones of loving kindness.

I know I have said this to Kristi already, but one of the hard parts about losing your mom has been that it was unexpected.  And yet, such a blessing to live life fully, and beautifully right to the end.  And then to pass on quickly with little suffering.  Your Mom was a do-er...she was always on the go.  I can not see her growing old in a chair watching game shows.   I can't help but to think that she would have wanted it this way.  

I will miss your mom dearly.  She was one of the most influential people in my life.  Your mom had a huge impact on me and who I am today.  I will carry her memory & the lessons she taught with me always.   I'm so grateful that she let me be a part of your family.   I look back and think how the day I was chosen to be a TA at "Camp Wooten" and was assigned to the "Owl" cabin (weren't we the owl's Kristi?) was one of the luckiest days of my life.  I can't imagine never having met Kristi & Sue (and then Lisa) and all the adventures and happy times that would follow.  The times spent with your family were some of the happiest of my childhood and are treasured memories."



Our last photo...all together. 
Feb. 23, 2013

Life According to my iphone part 2

A little more of Life According to my iphone.  Again, these are not in chronological order...just wanting to get them off my phone and on to the blog!

First up, Matthew's birthday!  We celebrated Matthew's 10th birthday.  He asked for a "lazy day at home and a fancy dinner."  When I said, "Fancy?  Like what?"  He said, "You know, someplace fancy, like Red Robin."  :)  Red Robin it was!



He received a nifty new bike for his birthday and was thrilled!



Mom gave the kids a make-your-own-balloon-animal kit.  It was  a HIT.  This was Kaitlin's flower/umbrella.



I was cleaning the bathroom late one evening before bed and the boys decided to "help"!  Andrew did quite the thorough job with the spray....  :)  they have to learn sometime!



The Fox Running Program is such a great program!  The kids run during all their recesses and receive ribbons for different increments.  They only do it for a month and my boys work SO hard at this.  They are not super into sports but they both LOVE this and run their little hearts out!  They come home pink faced and sweaty.  Here they are celebrating their white ribbons for their first 10 miles.



Kitti was SO excited about Kindergarten round up!  She knows her way around Fox and they know her too, so it's all just formality.  But she was SO excited and thrilled over the bus ride.  We were cool kids and sat in the back of the bus.



The last day of OT (THANK YOU JESUS!) was celebrated with a chocolate chip pancake!



Matthew had a Seahawk birthday this year!  It was really fun & easy to do.  But more on that later.



We are going to Disneyland in September and are SO excited!  I ordered a digital file off Etsy and made these autograph/scrapbook books for the kids  I was so happy with how they turned out, and gave them to them the morning of Matthew's birthday when we broke the news.  But again, more on that later! :)



Crazy hair day!  Not a shocker that Matthew wasn't interested.  But Andrew was quick to sign up!  He's all about crazy days no matter the details.  That's my boy!



Teacher appreciation.  Why, oh why do we do Teacher appreciation so close to the end of the school year?  We all do more appreciation at the end of the year...it feels like one more thing to squeeze in!  I wish we could do it half way through...I like to include the kids in this.  Matthew wrote a sweet card to his teacher that was sealed before I took a photo.  But here are Andrew's sentiments.



Our little gifts for our teachers.  Which is really not enough considering all they do! 



One of many Little League games spent under an umbrella.  Thankful for the fun company of Katie during Andrew's games!



Matthew asked me, "Mama, why did you get your shoes authorized?"  :) 



We can't walk by the Fox anymore without a request for a photo.



Every time we go to Clackamas..."Can I ride on the carousel."
"Not today."

I told Kitti we would ride it when pre-school was over.  Gracie and Shannon came along to celebrate the day after pre-school ended.  The girls were SO happy.



Shannon snagged this with her iphone.  So great!!



No secret,  I love to organize.  It's my therapy.  I told Shannon that for her birthday instead of our usual shopping trip, I'd come help her organize her Bonus Room.  We worked for hours and got a lot done!  It was great and really fun!  We changed and went out for dinner afterward, which was wonderful.  We never have enough time together and we cherish these days.



We celebrated the end of the running program as the boys acheived their goals!  Andrew received his blue ribbon for 50 miles (he ran 51) and Matthew, his gold ribbon for 65 miles!!  (He ran 66).  Matthew received a medal at the end of the year assembly for his accomplishment as well.  I was really proud of the boys.  Andrew can find the messiest way to eat anything!  Note the ice cream cone eaten from the bottom up?



Love that my boy still wants to sit on my lap.  He was cold.  Still.  I'll take it.



Kitti and Dan were being silly.  I have more pics still on my phone for this.  I'm sure there will be an iphone part 3 download sometime soon.

 

$69.99 worth of sanity.
The boys' room was making me CRAZY.  Their clothes continue to get bigger but their storage is not growing.  If anything, I buy less for them but it just does not fit.  I finally went and bought this at IKEA with the thought that it could be used in Matthew's room when he moves next to Andrew some day.  It has made a huge difference.  Laundry no longer piles up to be put away, everything has space, and my frustration level has dropped.



I took the opportunity to do a quick clean out when I worked on this project and yet more bags were cleaned out.  We're making great progress on the house.



They boys got out their memory boxes one day.  I had to get them packed up and couldn't resist a sweet photo.  I feel like this was all just days ago that we were anticipating Andrew's birth.  Precious days, passed all too quickly.



Sometimes you just have to say "yes" to the horse at the grocery store.



We might be presbyterian but Kaitlin has charismatic, evangelical written all over her.  :)  Here she is praising God in the back seat with her whole heart.



Matthew walked home by himself for the first time!  I drove by and snapped a picture.  With Kaitlin going there next year, I think we might do more walking to/from the school which will be nice.


The Bug is always getting herself all dressed up.  i love the outfits she puts together.



Matthew attended a bday party at an art place where you make things out of recycled "stuff."  Basically anything and everything.  So "Oregon!"  They had a ton of fun.



Andrew and sweet Aiden working on their creations. 



We did a cousin swap and had Isaiah for the day/sleepover.  The kids made little pizzas and a great fort that they slept in.  They had so much fun, and I loved having Isaiah over.  He was so sweet with kaitlin and is growing into such a wonderful kid.  I'm looking forward to spending next week with him and Noah at the beach!



I feel like I might have posted this one....but not certain, so here it is again.  I took Grace and Kaitlin to an assembly at the boys' school on morning.  They loved it and it was a bit of fun entertainment in the morning while Shannon went on a field trip with Hannah.



I was so grateful that Andrew's school OT sent home worksheets for him for summer!  I was so happy to pen his backpack and find these...which I can copy and will make working on letters that he struggles with easier!  So great!



Grammie came to Kaitlin's ballet recital.  We were happy to have her!



At the last minute, Dan was offered 4 tickets, 9 rows off 1st base to a Mariner's game.  It was during Kaitlin's recital but I told him he had to go!   Opportunities like that don't come along often and I knew they would have so much more fun and they did!  The boys ended up on the big screen!  :)  So glad they went and had fun.



Meanwhile, we watched this cutie dance.  Oh my.  So funny and sweet.  She is such a performer and just makes me laugh.



Kitti's pre-school teacher from last year was at the recital and came to say hello.  So fun!



A little post-recital ice cream.  It was really late, but McDonald's was still open and fit the bill.



Yet another one of Kaitlin's outfits.



I am loving my little patio this year.  The red white and blue is so fun and cheerful.



This isn't an iphone photo, but in the last few weeks we lost our precious Sue.  After becoming very ill, very quickly with pneumonia, and being in the ICU for 2 weeks, she went to heaven.  I just returned from her memorial in Arizona and will write more about it.  It was a shock to lose her so soon.   And she will be greatly missed.  Sue was one of the people in my life that was dearest to my heart.  But I know heaven rejoices at her arrival.  In my opinion, she was one of God's angels on earth, and she simply went home where she belonged.