The morning of the memorial we made our way to her home and the moment we walked in the door it was Sue.
Floral, Feminine, tidy and comfortable...with lots of crystal, brass, and everything matched. I took a lot of pictures for Lisa and Kristi. Here are a few....
The family room:
Framed photos of people she loved in her linen closet.
And this was classic.
Yes, crystal on the stove.
So funny. Sue did not cook.
There was not room for her china hutch in the nook, so she put it in the laundry room. I remember her telling me how she liked to turn the lights on in it in the evening, and she'd go in there to talk on the phone.
This framed picture is her favorite spot to take photos in Disneyland. I posed there twice with her family growing up. Whenever I have been there and passed by I think of Sue.
There was even a cute little area in her spotless garage.
(They lived on a golf course).
It was so sweet go to and see her home. I was so glad to walk through the rooms and see Sue's familiar touch throughout. It was strange though, to be there without her offering a Diet Coke and laughing, laughing, laughing.
We headed to the church where Jamie and I were able to help with setting up for the reception. And then went in for the service.
There were different speakers from different parts of Sue's life. Her brother, two friends from Arizona, her son-in-law, and then I stood and spoke with Lisa and Kristi. The pastor said it was the longest memorial service she had ever done. It was long, but I told Kristi her mom was worth every minute! We could have talked for a week!
My talk went okay. Like everyone else who stood and spoke I was a little emotional in the beginning and then made it through. I was grateful and glad for the opportunity to speak. Kristi had emailed and asked if I would prior to heading down. But as I sat and tried to think of what I wanted to say, words continued to fail me. It is such an honor to speak at a memorial service. To personally share about and summarize a cherished life....to memorialize someone...who they were, how they lived, their mark on the world and those around them. I think when you care for someone deeply, words simply are inadequate. I adored Sue, and nothing I could say would serve her memory enough for my liking. So I did the best that I could (and am including my words at the end of this post) but I don't think I could have written anything that I would have felt content with.
Lisa and Kristi spoke after me.
Kristi's husband Ryan is a young adult pastor at First Presbyterian in Bellevue. He gave the homily and did a beautiful job.
We then went to the fellowship hall for a reception. It was just as Sue would have wanted it. No expensive centerpieces or meal, just framed photos and artificial flowers. A light snack and a slide show of photos played. People mingled and visited and I buzzed around snapping photos for an album for Kristi and Lisa. Here are a few of the photos....
Mom & Jamie. Joined later by Kristi as things were winding down.
The grand kids.
Lisa's husband is a wonderful guy named Mel who is Phillipino. They have beautiful children!
Everyone wanted to hold precious Anna, aka. "The Glory Girl" as nicknamed by her Daddy. Her middle name is Glory.
Anna and her Daddy in the background.
Love this one. Sue's hat and her phrase that she was so well known for with granddaughter, Meghan.
Treasured friends.
Sweet Meghan (whom Kaitlin adores and has so much fun playing with) in the parking lot after the reception.
A last funny one of the 3 of us...
And the family photo....
And my words about Sue.A friend asked that I share them....
I told my Mom as I was writing what I wanted to share with you today, that while it is such an honor to stand before you & remember Sue, a person I dearly loved, I feel like anything that I could write would always fall short. Words will always fail to capture the essence of Sue. There was so much personality, spirit, and loving kindness packed into that little body. But I will try to do her justice.
Growing up, I attended Jason Lee Elementary School in Richland, Washington along with Sue’s daughters Lisa & Kristi who were in the grades above and below me. The exciting thing that happened in 5th grade at Jason Lee was getting to attend “Outdoor Education” at Camp Wooten. It was a week away from home with fellow students staying in cabins, and learning about the outdoors. When I was in 6th grade I was lucky to be chosen as a TA to go back to Camp Wooten as an assistant. Little did I know how that would change my life. I was assigned to the Owl cabin. Which was Sue’s cabin where she was a camp counselor for her daughter, Kristi & fellow classmates. It was the beginning of a dear friendship, many laughs, lessons and fun adventures. Kristi and I became fast friends and Sue’s home became like my second home growing up. I went to church with her family, went waterskiing with them, spent afternoons at her house after school, went on shopping trips, and to Disneyland twice with her family. Our families shared holidays together and were really like the extended family that neither of us had locally. I quickly became what she referred to as her “#3 daughter.” And she introduced me to people like that, never stopping to explain that we weren’t really related. Perhaps because it felt like we were. The last card she sent to me just this last may for Mother’s Day, still included that sweet title that I will always cherish. But what that really meant was that I had a front row seat to a life that was beautifully lived.
Sue got up every day and put together a beautiful outfit always in colors that complemented her hair and complexion, with jewelry that was bold. Her hair, always perfectly done. Her nails, long and bright. And her lipstick was usually within arms reach so that it seemed it never faded from her lips. But once she was tended to in the morning, her focus turned completely outward to others. Sue had a heart for service, kindness, compassion, affirmation, and was filled with love for others. Sue was truly “blessed to bless others”. Her gifts and blessings from God did not stop with her. They were not stored up for safekeeping or given to a select few that she was closest to. They were given freely. Daily. From those closest to her, to the clerk at the grocery store. She would blow kisses and call out her signature, “I love you more!” The way that only Sue really could. Not “Luv ya!” or “love you”…or any other version that we might feel more comfortable saying because it removes a little bit of the intimacy and vulnerability from the expression. Because expressing your love is a vulnerable place to be. The questions remain…how will it be received? Will it be reciprocated? But that didn’t concern Sue. No, She loved courageously. It was always a bold “I love You More!!!” And I’m certain that for many of us who knew Sue, those were her last words to us.
But Sue’s words weren’t hollow. Her actions spoke of a heart that truly did deeply love others. She always had an eye out for a need that she could fill. Whether it was a family member, a friend, an acquaintance, or simply someone she ran across in her day to day life. She would step up and help. Whether it was filling a material need or an emotional need. She was there with clothes, house wares, furniture, a ride to an appointment, a phone call, a card with caring & encouraging words, a hug, or simply a smile. She adopted people that she looked after continually. I remember an immigrant family in Richland she referred to as “My Russian Family”. I have no idea how she initially met them but she often told us stories about them and I went to their house with Sue one time for one of her many deliveries. I watched the children gather at her arrival and I could see that they saw Sue as an angel. But she didn’t just give them things. She showed them love.
I remember when a friend of hers had twins, she went to her house every Tuesday afternoon to help to “hold the babies” as she used to say, so that the mom could run errands and have a break. Just to make life easier for her. And then there was our Beloved “Grandma Helen” whose own daughter and husband had passed away and no local family remained. Sue became like a daughter to her. Looking after her until the very moment Grandma Helen passed from this earth. Among many other things, Sue took her to appointments ~ doctor appointments and also the really important ones, like hair & nails. When Grandma Helen could no longer do many of the day to day life tasks, Sue stopped by her house daily to help her and make sure she was safely tucked in bed for the night so that Grandma Helen could remain in her home as she wished. These are just three of countless, truly countless, things that Sue would do on a daily basis.
She certainly didn’t have more time in the day than any of us. She simply loved and selflessly prioritized serving others. She didn’t have a lot of hobbies (except perhaps shopping & socializing with friends) that she indulged in. Her hobby was helping and serving. Sue was never inconvenienced by a need. Nor did she wait to be asked to help or serve begrudgingly out of obligation. Nor was there a self-serving motivation. She served selflessly, generously and graciously. And while Sue was kind and sweet, serving, and loving, probably one of my favorite things about her was that she was funny.
She loved to laugh~ that great, unique laugh of hers ~ and had a fun sense of humor. I loved how we’d be sitting at a meal and she’d say something shocking and as my mouth would drop open she would just laugh with a twinkle in her eye. Or she’d tell a story of something bold or funny that she did and I’d say, “You did that?” And she’d smile and nod her head, the way she used to nod and say, “I really did.” Because if you knew Sue well, you know she did a LOT of funny things. …
Like wallpapering her garage in Richland in floral wallpaper. And keeping a Christmas tree in her family room up year round that was decorated to match her interior. And I remember she went through a phase where she listened to marching band music in the car. She said she liked it because it sounded happy. Sue was really a one-of-a-kind. She had so much confidence and personality. She might have been small in size but she could fill a room with her presence. She knew who she was and was true to herself.
Sue was one of the most influential people in my life. Truly one of the rare people you come across in life that almost seem to be part angel. And I will miss her dearly.
I would just like to encourage everyone here today that perhaps we could pick up where Sue left off. Perhaps we could honor her memory by loving a little more courageously.
And serving a little more generously.
And if we all do a little, we might hope to achieve what Sue did all on her own.
