Celebrating a Decade

My Sweet Matthew,

It is a milestone birthday, indeed!  10 years old!  Ten!  Two whole hands!

 

It's hard to believe that our time with you before you head off to college is more than half way over.  I feel my time with you slipping away as I wonder how much longer I will have that you will want to be with me.  That you'll ask for me to snuggle with you at night.  That you'll want to cuddle up next to me on the sofa and read....

When you were small, we often chose more serious images of you when we'd take you to have your portrait made.   You were just an old soul as a child.  And though you have definitely found your silly side,

 

I still see "you" in the photo below.



You have changed a lot in the last year.  You are moving away from being a child and heading into the pre-teen years.  You are developing the attitude of a pre-teen at times.  And we've had a lot of discussions about sassing and talking back....The thing about you though is that you do try to correct yourself.  You slip back into habits, but I know a lot of this is very developmental and have no doubts about your character.

 

(I love your freckles!)

You have always had a strong sense of right and wrong and have always wanted to do the right thing.  This year I've seen you turn into a bit of a "class clown."  (Which has been a bit of a surprise).  But you have never gotten trouble in class and so it seems you're able to be appropriate with when you choose to insert your humor.  Your teacher really enjoyed having you in class.

You continue to excel in school, but I've noticed you have not been pushing yourself to do your best this year.  Your teacher said the same thing.  She said that you are capable of fantastic things when you put your mind to it, but you often rush through things.  You are very bright and I hope we can help you work to your full potential.

 

One of the things I've noticed about you this year is a change in your social graces.  The way that you relate to adults is changing a little.  I often watch you and feel very proud of the boy that you are.

 

We have started giving you little tastes of independence.  You are very responsible and trustworthy.  One day Stephen left his shoes at our house and you asked if you could ride them up on your bicycle.  We sent Daddy's cell phone with you with instructions to call when you got there, stop at each cul-de-sac and check for cars, etc.  You set off and pretty soon we got a call.  "I'm here, Mama.  I'm in the driveway talking to you on the phone.  I didn't think it would be safe for me to ride and talk to you at the same time."  Indeed.  :)  Then when you returned home you were exhilarated with your new independence!  All night...."That was SO fun!  Can I do it again sometime?"  And I loved when you told me about your journey and how you stopped at each street to look for cars..."There was one car who waited for me to cross and I smiled and waved...was that right?"  Yes, that was right, sweet love.  And while I often feel nostalgic for each stage as it passes, I also feel joy right along with you and your accomplishments.  I love to see you becoming independent and capable.

 

You are still very loyal in your relationships.  You make a friend and keep them.  Once you make a friendship, even if you don't spend a lot of time with that person you still cherish them.  One day auntie Shannon texted and said she was in the emergency room with Hannah who had hurt her foot on the playground.  I told you and you started crying, you were so worried about her.  You tend to have a few very close friends that you keep through the years and care deeply about.  Your friendships are largely unchanged since kindergarten/first grade.  Your close relationships tend to be few but deep.  Though you are very friendly with many kids.

 

We are slowly narrowing down your sports interests.  You are not an aggressive kid at all.  You prefer golf, tennis and baseball.  You played basketball this last year, but decided not to do it next year.  You prefer intellectual pursuits.  You love to build/create/invent.  Just as you have since a small child.  It is your passion and it feels like a blessing to me to be able to see this at such a young age so that we'll be able to help nurture that in you.

 

I have loved to watch your faith grow this year.  To hear you tell me about things you have prayed about on your own.  You did K2 Live this year with Daddy and it was such a great experience.  You loved it and church has become a positive thing in your life, which makes me so happy.   Life is not easy.  But having a strong faith makes it so much easier.  I often go into your room at night (Kaitlin's too) and pray over you & Andrew as you sleep, that you will keep God close to your heart always.

You are still very close to Andrew and while you have your moments (especially as he gets older and finds his voice), you get along very well the majority of the time and are the best of friends.  Your personalities complement one another so well.   When Andrew had some trouble with some kids on the playground you told him to tell them that your big brother would "beat them up".   Which truthfully, made your Daddy and I laugh a bit because that is so not you, and we encouraged other means of working things out.  But we both loved that your instinct was to protect your brother.

 

You have worked this year on your relationship with Kaitlin and while you still get impatient with her and her little kid ways, you listen to me and put forth an effort to improve.  Just today you made a bed for her on the sofa and tucked her in and said, "I love Kaitlin so much."  I have no doubt of that at all.

 

You are like me in the sense that you enjoy people and like to socialize, but you need your quiet time to recharge.  After school you can be quite grouchy and need your space to decompress.  It is best if I can give you time to yourself.  The socializing drains you.  This is one of the reasons why I have learned that I need to watch our family schedule. You start getting stressed and emotional when you don't have enough downtime.  This is something important you'll need to recognize about yourself as you get older so you don't end up getting frustrated with people when in realty, you probably just need some time alone.  (And I can completely relate).

 

It is really a joy to be your mom.  I often say that if we stopped having babies after you were born we'd think we were the greatest parents ever because you try so hard to be compliant with what we ask of you.  (Once you past the terrible tantrums).  You make parenting look easy.  You listen when we correct you and try to change.  Even if you are frustrated or angry at first.  The first time we put you in a "big boy bed" we told you the rule:  "Stay in bed until Mommy and Daddy come and get you."  And you did.  Simple as that.  And that is how you have been ever since.  The other day we went out to eat and were going to take the unfinished children's drinks with us that were in plastic cups with lids.  You were so worried that we were breaking the rules..."Mama, you need to ask first!  You need to ask first!"  You are very much a rule follower and find comfort in boundaries and expectations.

 

I set up a responsibility chart for you this summer with a list of things that have to be done (bed made, clothes in hamper, wipe down the bathroom counter/sinks, pick up toys, do your math workbook/flash cards and 20 minutes of silent reading) before you can have your 20 minutes of electronics for the day.  You get up and get to work.  I never have to ask you to get started or do anything.  You just do it.  When it's time for your electronics you set the timer and play until it goes off, then move on to something else.  You thrive with structure and are so easy in this regard.  And I am so grateful.  It really helps your Mama a lot.

 

I love that you are ten and you feel comfortable talking to me about virtually anything.  I love the relationship that we have...the authenticity, the openness.  My prayer is that this never changes.  I don't know if that's realistic.  I know it will need to evolve.  But I pray we are always close.  That you will always want your "mama time."  I promise you that I will do my part to ensure that.

 

Know that I love you always.  On good days and tough days.  When you make good choices, and on days of regrets.  I love you even when I'm angry with you.   In this world of change, and trials, know that you can count of your Mama's love.  And on God too.  Tuck that away in your heart and know that you are never alone in this world.  You are a child of God.  And you are deeply cherished and loved.

 

Happy 10th Birthday, my precious son.
Thank you for a decade of filling my heart with more love & joy than I thought possible.

Mama

Five.

Oh my little Bugaboo.

You are five.
Five!
A whole hand.

My little girl, you are such a gift.  You start my day with a smile every morning as you love for me to be the one to come to your room, and carry you (yes, still carry you) down the stairs for breakfast.

 

Your pre-school teacher paid you a lovely compliment on your birthday.  She shared with me how sometimes the birthday child can sometimes not always be the nicest on that particular day (as they get to do all the jobs and it's easy to feel quite important)... but that you were so sweet all morning and that it made it really fun to celebrate with you.  Those are the best kind of compliments and I was so proud of you for that. 

You sit in the cart at the grocery store (or Costco or wherever) and sing with me,
"Bug-a-Boo Boo Boo, I love You You You!"
It always makes you smile.
It's our shopping song.
And being you, you have to end on a dramatic note, so when we are done you sing it one more time belting out "YOU YOU YOU!!!!" at the top of your lungs.

You do so love things with a little dramatic flair.

That is you at five.

You are changing.  Fast.
A little too fast.
You have suddenly become a little girl.
Your personality is making this all happen a little too quickly for me.  As you are socially savvy and very aware your surroundings/people.  There is part of you that wants to be all grown up.  You'll even say that you want to be a grown up.  But then you'll want us to wrap you in your towel after your bath and carry you like a baby.  It's the internal tug of war of growing up.

 

You are a very self assured little girl.  In fact, the other day you ran around the house for a good 10 minutes singing at the TOP of your lungs, "I have CONFIDENCE in my heart!  And I stand UP for my heart!"  Daddy asked you where you heard that song and you said you made it up.

 

Your words were true.  You do have confidence in your heart.  And I love to see that.  You have a lot of personality packed into that little body of yours and you make me smile and laugh daily at your antics.  You are funny.

You are a natural leader, just like your Daddy.  Yet you have a nice balance of confidence but also kindness and compassion that I think will serve you well as you lead others and keep you from being bossy.  :) 

You are still easy to discipline, thankfully because you are requiring more of it.  You are testing boundaries and starting to argue with your brothers a bit.  And lately, you've been putting up a fuss when you don't get your way.  This is what we're really focused on working on right now.  But it seems to be that you care enough about not upsetting others that you will give in rather than stand your ground too firmly.  (Not to say that you don't do this, as you do at times, but I would not call you "strong willed.")  You don't like for me to get upset with you and will cry in heartbreak if I get angry.  If I do get upset with you, you always need a hug of reassurance that all is okay between us before you can move on.

You are such a consistent child. I feel like you have changed so little through the last few years.  Rather, your character traits seem to just become more and more enhanced.

Words I would use to describe you:

Loving.

 

Loyal.
Funny.

Passionate.
Cheerful.
Feminine.

 

Happy.
Dramatic.
Considerate.

 

Outgoing.
Confident.
Kind.

 

You love pre-school, flowers, your friends, bows, dancing, ribbons (you are always asking me to cut a piece of ribbon for you), wrapping gifts, crafting and coloring, baking, dressing up, accessorizing, swinging (or "pumping" as you call it), playing dolls (you call them your "daughters"), shopping and being with other girls or women.

You are very loyal and if I ask you, "Are you Mama's girl?"  You will say, "Yes, and Daddy's too."  If he asks a similar question, you always remember to include Mama as well.

You have started to say sweet things like, "Mama, I want to be like you when I grow up."  The other day you said you wanted to get your hair cut short so it would be like mine.  While I am glad you feel that way in the sense that you have positive feelings toward me, I don't want you to be just like me.  I want you to be you.  You don't need to be anyone but yourself, love.

 

You are unique and completely wonderful being you. That is one of my goals as a parent.  I want you to embrace who you are, all the gifts you have (because they are very different from mine, and very wonderful).  I want you to be your unique self, and be happy and content (and "confident"!) in that. 

You are VERY outgoing and will seek out little girls in stores (or anywhere) to play with.  You'll march right up and say hello and ask for them to play with you and then when it's time to go you'll send them off with a hug.  When I took you to Andrew's classroom you weren't the least bit intimidated and ran out to play with all the first graders!  I have no doubt you will be SO happy in Kindergarten.  I don't worry a bit about your adjustment.  You will bloom next year, I am certain.

You have been doing gymnastics this year and we just finished that and have started ballet again.  You love it and are happy to be dancing again. You are mostly excited for the performance and getting to wear a costume again.

 

You also want to play soccer this fall, and I'm excited to watch you as I think you'll do great in sports.  You have the assertiveness for it, and it'll be fun to see how you do.  I told your Daddy when you started to crawl that I thought you'd be an athlete (you've always had good coordination and precision to your movements), and I'm curious to see if I was right!

The hardest thing about you is your eating. It is awful.  It is a struggle and fight to get you to try new foods.  You will cry and literally go all day without eating rather than eat if we force the subject.  You will be cranky and hungry and still refuse to eat if it's something you don't want.  It is so frustrating. You have my tastes and have a terrible sweet tooth and could live on carbs. You are getting a tiny bit better and actually willingly ate a bite of Salmon last night!  Of course you hated it, but the fact that you tried it without a lot of drama and crying was a huge milestone.  Baby steps.  Though I have to say, I would take this challenge above others any day.  You are overall an easy child and I'm thankful for that.

 

You are still very girly and love to dress up, take care of your dollies, have tea parties, bake, pretend to be a Mommy, and do whatever I am doing.   Your interests really mirror mine and so that is fun.  I haven't forced that on you, it's really just who you are.  And that has been a sweet blessing for me.

I love these little hands....

 You still love to sing.  Love. To. Sing.  Most mornings when I open the door from my room I can hear you singing.  I'm sorry to say, at this age, you have not been gifted with being able to carry a tune.  But it doesn't hold you back.  You sing about everything and usually at the tip top of your lungs.  You mostly love to sing about how much you love your friends and family and God.  Some of your songs about God/Jesus/the bible are so cute and so funny.  And the other day you even sang about how you were patiently waiting for a snack but your Mama wasn't getting it for you and how "she doesn't love her baby girl"....Seriously!

You are bright and learn quickly and easily.  You brought home a piece of paper from pre-school the other day with easy words written on them "Mat, Hat, Cat Bat, etc."  I taught you how to sound out the first one and you read the rest!  You were SO excited about this accomplishment. You are right on track for being ready for Kindergarten.

 

Your small motor skills amaze me.  You love to craft and color and I'm amazed at how well you can color.  I think it's probably quite on par for a child your age, but with respect to our family you do really well.  With no effort on my part your motor skills have just developed beautifully and I'm grateful for that.

A lot of big changes are on the horizon for you.  I've seen it twice before and so I know what is coming.  Because of that, I just cherish and smile at all of your funny little things that you do that make you seem small.

 

I love your passionate hugs, your dramatic tears, your joyful laugh, your uninhibited singing.  I love how you express all that you feel, freely as only a child who feels safe and secure will do.  You live life fully, with passion, excitement and a lot of happiness (you really are so happy ~ even when you're sick!) and I love it.  You add a lot of fun to our family. 

I cherish these dwindling days before you are aware of a bigger world that might judge, or hurt, or seek to crush your spirit.  I hope you always stay confident and passionate in spite of the challenges life brings.  I hope you always love God the way that you do now.  And I hope you and I stay as close as we are now.  

You delight my heart, baby girl.

Happy fifth birthday, my precious daughter....

Bugaboo, boo, boo, I love you, you YOU!

Mama