2013.

I love January.

It arrives at the perfect time after the happy holiday hub-bub.  I so easily fall into excess over the holidays.  Once it is over I crave order in my home, simplification of our schedule, and usually a diet!

I'm a goal setter by nature.   Always have been.

I'm a project starter.  (Not as good of a finisher, but I'm improving).

I'm a list maker and organizer.

I love the idea of a fresh start.  A clean slate.


I love the process of bringing order to disorder.  It is my therapy.  It clears my mind and gives me the feeling of having control over a small part of my world when there's so much that I have to "let go" of daily.

I don't think of January as a time to set resolutions as much as it is to take an inventory of my life and figure out what is working.  And more often, what isn't.

And doing the same with myself.  My health.  My habits.  My choices.

And a list eventually takes shape of a plan to move myself and my life (hopefully) toward a better version of what I am now.  Rarely do I achieve everything.  But I do inch forward.  I steadily make small progress toward goals.   

Recently, I found a list of life goals Dan and I made before we had children.  I was pleased to see some that we have accomplished that we could cross off.  I was surprised to see that many goals remain the same.  Others I could cross off simply for lack of interest.  Our vision has changed. 

I read the term "rooting year" recently.  As opposed to "flowering year."  Meaning, years in your life when you experience a change such as a new baby, a move, a job change.  It wasn't mentioned, but I would add a death to that list.  They are years where energy and efforts are mostly going toward growing roots...getting grounded and stabilized so that later, you can flower.

I could relate to that.  Dan and I definitely felt like we were uprooted in '08.  Completely.  It has been a long process of re-establishing roots.  Spiritually.  Emotionally.  Relationally.  There was really hardly an area of our life not uprooted in '08.

And slowly, steadily, we have grown roots.  It has taken longer than I'd like.  But the roots we've grown aren't shallow ones that run along the surface.

They run deep.  

I'm the weeder in our family.  I have "favorite" weeds and weeds I loathe.  My favorite weeds are the ones that have a single stem, and shallow roots and pull up with ease.  I hate the ones a with deep strong root that break off when I pull on them and then have to dig the root out with a spade.

I feel like that weed that I loathe in my garden.  My roots have grown slowly, but they run deep. And I am in fear of being uprooted right now, because I know the process would not be done with ease.  It would be quite painful.  But the possibility right now is real.

But I'm trying to surrender that fear and move forward into 2013 with faith and focus. 

The things that I've focused on during the last 4 years have been need-driven.  Either by my own personal needs or family members needs.  This year is no different.  Each year I know what needs to be done and it isn't really a choice as much as an internal pull.

This year, my goal is simply to live with discipline and intention.

Life is busy.
At times, too busy.
There isn't enough time to waste right now.

So my goal is really to be intentional with how I spend my time, resources, talents.  There is so much that I want to accomplish, and other things that I need to accomplish.

There are habits I need to break.  And others I want to form.

I want to live more simply.
I want less stuff.
I want to know God better.
I want to know God's word better.
I want my family to have more unstructured time spent together.
I want to "ruthlessly eliminate hurry."  (A challenge from our pastor this last year).
I want to multitask less and focus more.
I want to make healthy choices for my body and take better care of myself.
I want to have less, but experience more.
I want to serve others joyfully.
I want to observe the Sabbath.
I want to have a loving, heart of grace and look for the best in people.

I need to use my time wisely and be disciplined so I can dedicate myself to Andrew's increased therapy.
I need daily routines and habits so that the household runs smoothly through the week without the need for Sunday to be used as catch up.

These are the things I want to focus on.  These are the guidelines I plan to use to set specific goals ~ which Dan and I will decide on together (though a list is already forming in my head) ~ for the year.

I have a great start.  I've cleaned out most of my house.
I've started exercising again.  Not as much as I need to, but it's a start.
I've lost 4 of my holiday lbs and hope for a bit more.

I feel like I'm setting up the foundation in our home on which the rest of these goals can be built, and I'm excited about that.  It's time consuming and I haven't been as available in other areas of my life as I usually am, but I feel like this temporary sacrifice is important and will pay off.  ~ It already has.

So while I face 2013 with some real fear...I'm also excited.

I'm mostly excited for Andrew who is doing so well.  So well.  Don't get me wrong, there are still notes coming home from school and things to be addressed.  We still have a road ahead of us, but we're on the right track.  I'm seeing his body starting to respond to his OT ~ small sensory motor achievements.  And some pretty big behavioral achievements.  I am so excited to see him bloom this year.  I can't wait to celebrate more of his growth.  My heart just swells to think of it.

I'm excited for the changes I hope to make for us as a family.  I'm excited to see how that changes us and how we grow individually and together this year.

I'm praying for discipline.

For energy.  (Lord, I could use some more energy!) 

And I'm praying so hard that we can stay rooted.

And that we'll have a chance at last, to flower.